The only easy day was yesterday...
Throughout the summer of 2002, our
squad leader and buddy kept telling us to look forward to our Incorporation Day because our
beast-like existence would change after that. They also said that it would mark
the beginning of another chapter of our journey inside the hallowed grounds of
the academy. Moreover, summer camp was just a sort of orientation, and that it would
only be after incorporation to the regular corps can we truly feel the life of
a cadet. So, that was just an orientation. After what we’ve been through; after
a number of my classmates have resigned or quit- that was just an orientation!
I was filled with both anxiety and excitement over what was forthcoming to us.
I told myself to be strong, to keep the faith and to never quit no matter what.
After our trainers announced
the final date of the Incorporation, we were told to write letters to our
family to invite them for the occasion. I remember that when I finished my letter
(on a yellow paper), half of it was all "please bring me the following
FOOD- bukayo, biscuit, ice cream,
peanut brittle, spaghetti, bread, chocolates, etc. I told them very little
about our situation. I didn’t tell them how thin I've become in just two
months. I probably asked how they were, and invited them to come over for our
incorporation but my mind was just too focused on listing down the food I wanted
them to bring. Fortunately, I did not
have to worry where they could stay while they were in Baguio. Since most of us
were from far away provinces, the training committee arranged the billeting of
our respectively families.
Our activities got even harder
as the big day neared. We were supposed to become renewed persons- physically
and mentally strong, disciplined, gentlemanly, and so on. Parade drills became
more frequent. We spent more time learning how to shine shoes, iron uniforms,
fix bunks, and shine some more. Until now, I can still remember the first time
I held an M14 rifle. After just about a hundred meters or so of carrying it, my
arms and shoulders have become so numb I thought I would drop it. I was amazed
at how the yearlings would simply hurl that heavy barreled weapon on the air,
or cock it and flip its butt with a snap as if it's the most ordinary thing in the
world. But my determination to succeed prevailed and soon enough, it has become
an ‘extension’ of my own arms. 1567091. That was its number. How could I
ever forget? I held it for three years- with utmost care, with respect, with
love.
This is
my rifle.
There
are many like it, but this one is mine.
My
rifle is my best friend.
It is
my life.
I must
master it as I must master my life.
My
rifle, without me, is useless.
Without
my rifle, I am useless.
I must
fire my rifle true.
I must
shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me.
I must
shoot him before he shoots me.
I
will...
Then came the big day. I was
beaming with pride wearing a full dress white for the first time. Thanks to my
yearling buddy who prepared it, I felt like a real cadet inside that immaculate-
looking uniform which, a few months back, was just a dream for me and for my
classmates. The ceremonial parade was indescribable. I couldn’t believe I was
actually there- a cadet at last. I summoned all my faculties to keep my entire
system working, to stay focus, listen to the commands, and avoid
bogging down. I was scared because if I held my rifle too tight or too loose,
it might slip from my hand and ruin everything. Fortunately, I was able to hold
myself throughout the lengthy ceremony which seemed like a lifetime then.
I could just imagine the nervousness
my parents had while watching us from the grandstand. I'm sure they weren't
able to tell who their son was from among the hundreds of cadets who all looked
the same from a distance. Were they on the edge of their seats while watching
us do the manual of arms? They would tell me later, while we
were together at the billeting area, how happy they were to see me in
uniform. But they were also surprised and saddened with how skinny I have
become since the last time they saw me. To their dismay, they couldn't even hug
or kiss me as I rigidly stood there with other plebes.
I could also recall my parents
asking me if I wanted to just quit and go home. They must've been so worried
seeing their son in such state- skinny, sun- burned (although I've always been dark-skinned),
and exhausted. Any parent would've felt the same way. I told them I was doing
great and that I wanted to stay and continue what I started.
They brought me all of the food
items I've requested. Well almost all. I probably consumed a quarter gallon of
ice cream that day, to the amusement of my family. It was as if I've never seen
or eaten ice cream in my life. But yes, beast barracks made me feel hungry
and craving for simple pleasures-like ice cream and spaghetti. It made me
appreciate things I used to ignore when I was still a civilian. In two months’
time, I have learned so much about myself. I have discovered about the
strengths and weaknesses I was never aware of, and I have appreciated the value
of other people especially my loved I ones which I constantly overlooked.
Most of all my faith in God was renewed after realizing that only
Him can get me through an ordeal like beast barracks.
My family sadly left without
me. Both my father and mother were teary- eyed when I bid them good bye. They probably felt it was futile convincing me to just go home with them
and get a college degree instead. On the other hand, they probably felt it
was best I stayed there where I was doing what I've always wanted to do. My
mother would tell me years later that there and then, they knew I was contented
and happy with the life I have chosen. I went back to barracks with mixed feelings-
jubilant that I survived summer camp; happy that I spent time with my family;
but sad that I'd be spending the rest of the year away from them. I slept that
night contented with my little triumph, but anxious with how tomorrow would look
like.
