Army Wife

I am about to be in a one- year married life. Being an soldier’s wife is like having a struggling journey day by day. I need to stand as a single parent to our child and at the same time as a mother as well in school. I know it is part of being a wife and a teacher but still, there are times I keep telling myself that I must survive.

                   

Yes! Its true… Being an ARMY WIFE is also a job in itself and can be very difficult. Deployments prove challenging and army wives meet the task of holding the family together, standing by their husbands, and managing the myriad  routine responsibilities of everyday living, such as home and career. There will be times of sadness and uncertainty but they must always be prepared to seek professional help as a way of coping with the stress.

          

Coping with the reality of being a military spouse is no simple task. It is particularly difficult when you don’t see your husband for months or years at a time when they deploy. The stress of a separation is further intensified by the danger associated with deployments and the risk of possibly losing your love one. Finding ways to deal with the harsh reality of a deployment while providing support to your deployed spouse is essential to preserving a relationship.

    

All strong women with a good sense of the importance of friendship, love and appreciating the time they have with their husbands, who are often being deployed in other places for months or longer, must understand their husband’s work. Although all army wives handle deployments differently, they all have one thing in common. An army wife would say that it’s her friends, family, faith and fun that gets them through. She has her own individual way of keeping busy and facing each day with her head up, ready to take on the challenge.

 

Some wives do not really have any idea what their husbands do for a living other than the job title and were the husband works. Army wives however, have more intimate connection with their husbands’ employer– the Philippine Army. The army is usually a key player in the family.

So why did I marry a soldier? Maybe it is his courage and patriotism. Maybe it is that strong self-confidence he radiates. Or maybe  it is how handsome he looks in his uniform. 

An army wife has decided to throw in her lot with a military man.

At times, I feel if I cannot carry the burden of life because I feel I am alone most of the time. However, the baby I am now carrying with both hands and both shoulders who smiles at me all the time, makes me appreciate the life I had chosen with the man of my choice. Sometimes I am afraid because my husband’s life is always in danger but my faith keeps  me going-knocking in me and holding my strength to trust and be loyal to him. And the best support I’ve received is from my fellow army wives. There is no one else in the world who can understand the pain and stresses of these deployments and dangers. Whenever I need to vent, cry, complain, I just call one of my army wife friends. I know I can always count on them.

Moreover, it is hard to balance my time sometimes but I know God is guiding me throughout the day. I am still very thankful and glad because I met an army man who is responsible, caring and loving, and I have a child who makes me appreciate every morning of my life. There are people around who keep telling me that life is tough but I know that all I need is to face it with a smile. I have learned how to deal with emotional pain and stress in ways that I never knew I could. 

To be an army wife is something really special. This job is not for just anyone. Army wives are one of a kind. It is hard to be an army wife because of the distance but do you know what’s interesting about it? It is the challenge between us to strengthen our bond, our vow and the love that we have for each other.

(Written by Mrs Cornelio, a High School Teacher and the wife of Cpl Wilden Cornelio. They were married on February 14, 2012 in a military wedding ceremony at the Charlie Company Headquarters in Himamaylan City. This article appeared in Ang Kalis- the Company's official news-magazine, 2012-2013 issue)

On Leadership

 

 “I start with the premise that the function of leadership

is to produce more leaders, not more followers.”
-Ralph Nader

According to various scholars on leadership, Leadership goes beyond management. Management involves getting things done using the resources of the organization, and the formal patterns and rules within the organization. Leadership, on the other hand, sometimes involves driving through changes and new initiatives, which may be unpopular in some quarters. It is possible to identify a range of approaches to leading change in an organization, depending on the use of authority by the leader, and the amount of freedom given to subordinates.

As a leader, there are some important traits or characters that I would like to subscribe to if and when I become a commander. I believe that these traits would help me in establishing, developing and maintaining a good, healthy and productive relationship with my staff.

a. Staying calm- It is important to be calm during critical situations. As a combat officer, I have personally experienced the importance of being calm during critical periods. A calm leader evokes confidence as compared to a panicky one. A calm leader leads confidently and can give clear, concise and accurate instructions to the members of his team or group. If a leader is calm during critical situations, his subordinates become confident thereby ensuring success of the mission. Many leaders break down during challenging situations especially when lives are at stake. Some leaders cannot make sound decisions or become indecisive when confronted when placed in dangerous situations. During extra- ordinary times, it is usually the wisdom born out of experience that enables the leader to make sound decisions.

b. Being visible- Being visible to my TEAMates or to the members of the team is a good way of making them feel that I am a part of the team and that I share the difficulties or hardships that they face. In the military and in any organization, it is very important to set the example first before expecting the members of the team to do what you want them to do. Visibility will allow me to have a good interaction with the team thereby allowing me to ‘teach them’, ‘show them’ and ‘let them’ do what I would like them to do- based on our mission. It will allow me to gain insights about the team, about the mission and about the people working with and for me. Sometimes, people tend to keep their ideas to themselves unless they feel confident to share it with their leader or unless they are sure that the leader deserves to know what their thoughts are. By being visible to the team, I will get the chance to show I care for them as much as care for the entire team. It will give me more opportunity to communicate my intent more clearly and simply thereby ensuring better understanding and better results.

c. Putting the people before business- One of the first questions that a new officer of the AFP is asked is this: What is more important to you, mission accomplishment or morale and welfare of your men? Again as a combat officer, we need to strike a balance between the two if we want to develop and maintain a healthy unit or team. A leader or commander who places more emphasis on the morale and welfare of his men is bound to fail in whatever task or mission given to him. More often than not, he tries to please his men rather than go for the accomplishment of the unit’s mission. On the other hand, a leader who is bent on accomplishing the unit’s mission at all cost is bound to lose the respect of his men and eventually the leadership of the team. If morale and welfare is sacrificed, he would be leading a team of disgruntled men (or women) which could be more dangerous than productive. Hence, as a leader I should strive hard how to achieve and maintain a good balance between the two.

On a more personal note, as a commander, I will ensure uniform understanding of my intent. I will not live a room for second- guessing but I will endeavor to avoid micro-managing the staff in their tasks. I will be prudent with criticism but I will be generous with praises. I will encourage and support their personal and professional advancement as I continue to coach and mentor them. I will not deny them the opportunity to mature, learn, be proud of and love the service.

A staff and his commander

The staff officer’s duty is to assist the commander in accomplishing the mission. He relieves the commander of routine and detailed work and raises to the commander those things that only the commander can act on.

As I have espoused earlier, a staff works and serves under the presumption that his commander has trust and confidence in him. We serve at the pleasure of our commanders (or bosses). A staff has to think like his commander hence he should have the competence, confidence, initiative and flexibility expected of him. Moreover, he should be a team player, an effective manager and effective communicator. An officer who possesses these qualities will surely make the life of his commander a lot easier, more productive and noteworthy. Hence, as a staff I will strive to:

a. Know my commander inside and out. I should know his strengths and weaknesses? What is his leadership style? How does he look at his role as a commander? What are the things, situations or conditions that he views as threats, challenges and opportunities? What is his vision for the unit? What are his expectations from us, from the unit and from his soldiers? What are the things he values or what are the values he believes in? This will allow me and the rest of the staff to adjust to the commander and complement him and his efforts.

b. I will seek to abide with the following tenets:

1. Keep the commander informed. As a staff, I should have the courage and competence to tell him both the good news and the bad news. He must always be on top of the situation and appear and feel that he is in control of the entire unit. Never must he feel being left out or deprived of what he ought to know.

2. The commander is always right. As a staff, I should be aware of my footing at all times. Never should I forget that the commander is the standard bearer of the unit. He alone is responsible for what the unit does or fails to do. Never will I contest his decisions especially in front of others especially once he has made up his mind.

3. Respect for elders and superiors. A staff should never forget that over and above the position and rank of his commander, he is also person (most probably) older than he is. Thus he must conduct himself properly and be courteous at all times. I will observe appropriate protocols and avoid excessive familiarization or fraternizing with him. I will respect his family and the values that he stands for.

Additionally, as a staff, I will see to it that no mediocre output from my section will reach his table. I will strive to go beyond his expectations by going the extra mile in every task. I will not shun accepting challenges and I will not shy away from additional tasks or responsibilities. I will not take credit for the accomplishments of men under me but I will take responsibility for whatever my section does or fails to do.

Leading from the Frontlines: the AFP Internal Peace and Security Plan “Bayanihan” and Company Leadership

 When I was still a cadet, our tactical officers and instructors in various military subjects would often tell us that the best part of being a military officer is commanding your own company. I still recall most of them said that if there is one part in their career which they would like to go back to or ‘re-do’, it would be their years as company commander. Back then, those statements (or sentiments) did not mean much to me nor to my other classmates. Little did we know that after almost ten years, majority of the army guys would have the same musings.

When I graduated in 2006, I was immediately assigned with 11^th Infantry Battalion of the 3rd Infantry Division.  Back then, the battalion was stationed in La Carlota City, Negros Occidental covering the central to northern portion of the province. Another battalion, 61^st IB covered the southwest portion. Both were then under the 303^rd Brigade.

I was designated as Platoon Leader of the Scout Platoon and at the same time the Assistant S3. After almost a year of non-stop security operations, I was made the Executive Officer and Platoon Leader of Charlie Company. Thereafter, I was designated as Civil- Military Operations of the Battalion.

After finishing my Infantry Officer Basic Course (IOBC) in 2010, I was designated as Battalion Operations Officer (S3) for one and a half years. Prior to that, I re- assumed as S7 in 2009 after spending almost six months recovering from gunshot wounds I sustained late in 2008.

In December 2, 2011, the Commander of the 11^th IB then installed me as Commanding Officer of Charlie Company. I was actually the last among my classmates to assume as a company commander as I had to finish my stint as S3 first. Our BatCom felt I was ripe and ready for the position when he finally released me to command the unit which, during that time, was the farthest from the battalion’s main headquarters. Both Alfa and Bravo Company were in Negros Oriental while Charlie was the only 11^th IB unit in Negros Occidental and essentially, 302^nd Brigade’s lone force in the province. 11^th IB was placed under the operational control of 302^nd Brigade since 2009. He said he needed a solid leader to take charge of the company considering its disposition. Suffice it to say, I felt proud that my battalion commander entrusted me with such a responsibility but I knew that my journey was just about to begin, again.

A journey begins, again

Our BatCom presided the turn- over of command. I became a Company Commander at a time when the AFP has just made a paradigm shift to “Win the Peace” instead of just defeating the enemy through the Internal Peace and Security Plan (IPSP) “Bayanihan”. 11^th IB was of course at the forefront of its implementation in our Area of Operations. Interpretations were as diverse as you could imagine but I could say that somehow, our battalion understood well what it was and how to do it. He worked hard in cascading the plan to us.

I replaced a very capable officer, a true-blooded warrior and battalion ‘scorer’ hence pressure and challenge never meant so much to me before as it did during the ceremony. Although I was very confident that I have prepared for it for five years, I knew there were lots of uncertainties and all eyes were on me. Expectations were high-both from my fellow officers and men whom I have worked with during my years as platoon leader, Ex-O and Battalion Staff. I was grateful for the ceremony which in essence, started the ball rolling for me.

Below is an excerpt from my Assumption Speech.

Let me start by thanking and praising the God Almighty, the one and only true leader of heaven and earth, for bringing us all together this morning. May I also thank our commander for entrusting me with this once in a lifetime opportunity of leading a company of noble and gallant soldiers. Sir, my deepest gratitude to you for molding me into a better officer and a better soldier… The last 18 months that I spent as your operations officer were among the most fruitful months that I spent in this unit. With the training and preparation that you have subjected me to, I am now more confident that I would be able to lead this company well. My gratitude also goes to our Bn Ex- O and the battalion staff, and all officers and men of this unit for the knowledge, experience, wisdom, camaraderie and friendship that you have shared with me through the years. It shall guide me in steering the wheel for the 95 strong men of Charlie Coy. 

To my predecessor, thank you for entrusting me with your men. I personally admire your commitment and dedication to soldiery, and your love for Charlie Coy. Your contribution to our peace and development efforts surely reverberates not only in 11th IB but in the entire 3ID.

To the officers and men of Charlie Company, thank you for your warm reception. This is actually a homecoming for me, having been the Coy Ex-O in 2007. Now that I’m back as your new Commander, we shall work together for the accomplishment of our mission-to help in winning the peace and the establishment of an environment conducive to economic development in this part of the province.

My Vision for Charlie Company is this: “Charlie Company, 11^th IB is a highly respected and capable unit built and sustained by highly disciplined, well- trained, adequately- equipped and exceptionally motivated Lapu- Lapu Troopers”.

We shall be the battalion’s frontrunners in MISSION ACCOMPLISHMENT through our concerted, well- planned and well- directed actions. And while the members of Charlie Company toil and put their lives on the frontlines of the battlefield, we shall see to it that MORALE AND WELFARE is not forsaken. We shall put primacy on the welfare of our soldiers and their respective families. We shall maintain our focus because I believe that a distracted soldier is a dead soldier.

In accomplishing our mission, we shall also continue ENHANCING OUR CAPABILITIES as a unit through collective and individual trainings, proper equipage and deliberate manning system. As they say, the right man shall have the right job. We shall be the exemplars of discipline and dedication not only in the 11^th IB but in the entire division.

Ipagpapatuloy natin ang ating paninilbihan sa bayan ayon sa IPSP BAYANIHAN . Hihimukin natin ang ating mga stakeholders lalo na dito sa Himmaylan City na makiisa sa mga programang pangkapayapaan at pangkaunlaran sa pamamagitan ng tapat na paglilingkod. Magkaisa tayong ituloy ang presure-both military and social, laban sa NPA at kanilang mga kaalyado. Itataguyod natin ang inyong mga nasimulan. Papatatagin natin ang pundasyon ng ating yunit alinsunod sa Rule of Law at pagkilala at pag-galang sa karapatang pantao at International Humanitarian law. Higit sa lahat,tatahakin natin ang matuwid na landas bilang isang magiting na kawal pilipino batay sa Lapu- Lapu Pledge of Discipline. Alam kong kaisa ko kayo sa Adhikain ni Lapu- Lapu kung kaya’t buong pakumbaba kong hinihiling ang inyong taos- pusong suporta at kooperasyon. Sama- sama nating harapin ang mga hamon ng kasalukuyang panahon at ng bukas na darating.”  

A journey goes on: leading from the frontlines, in times of “Bayanihan”

My stint was perhaps a hair stand or a breath short of people’s expectations. I did not have the same ‘explosive’ experience like when I was a platoon leader. There were no decisive encounters- no lawless elements killed. The M16s and M14s were more elusive than a summer’s rain. However, while we fell short in terms of these classic parameters , we compensated in so many other aspects as I would describe in one of my reports (I regularly furnished the LGU with situation reports with the approval of the battalion)  to the Local Government Unit as follows:

Last December 13, 2012 at around 8 in the morning, we figured in an armed encounter against lawless elements belonging to the New Peoples Army or NPA. We were able to overrun their encampment at Sitio Hiniwaan, Brgy San Agustin, Isabela and captured a number of people believed to be members of the said armed group. Unfortunately, two of our soldiers (from a different company) died in the line of fire, offering the supreme sacrifice in the pursuit of peace. Four others were wounded including my executive officer. Fortunately for us in Charlie Company, no one was injured.

In Himamaylan, except for the indiscriminate firing against our detachment in Brgy Mahalang sometime in July, there have been no NPA- related violent incidents such as killings, burning of sugarcane plantations, trucks and other farm equipment. Thanks to the sincere cooperation of the people, WE WERE ABLE TO PREEMPT SUCH KIND OF HOSTILITIES IN OUR CITY.

Since my assumption as commander of the Charlie Company of the 11th IB, the unit has re- established strong partnership with the local government unit along with a number of government agencies particularly the Department of Education and the Department of Social Welfare and Development. This partnership has so far resulted into a number of high- impact projects and programs that benefited the populace.

One of the programs launched by the company is dubbed “Philippine Army at Dep Ed: Bayanihan para sa Kinabukasan ng mga Kabataan”. Under this program, peace advocacy symposiums were held and were attended by 1, 200 teachers from the municipalities of Isabela and Binalbagan, and City of Himamaylan.  The unit also actively participated in various school- based activities such as Brigada Eskwela and clean- up drives, Nutrition Month, Buwan ng Wika, graduation exercises among others. In line with its advocacy to promote education as the key to a brighter future, and as the first line of defense against insurgency, the company has initiated the “Bayanihan para sa Kinabukasan ng mga Kabataan: Lakbay- aral para sa Karunungan” which was participated in by 69 pupils from two mountain schools in Himamaylan City. With the help of the Barangay Council, LGU, DSWD. DEPED, ABS– CBN Bantay– Bata 163 Foundation and other concerned individuals, the participants toured Bacolod City for one day. The said activity, having been initiated by the army is considered as the first of its kind in the province.

Meanwhile, the company has also launched a “Tsinelas- for- a– Cause Project”- a campaign to raise 10, 000 pairs of slippers for poor children in the mountain schools. Educational materials such as books, notebooks, pens and paper are also being gathered by the company. To date, our soldiers have given away over 6, 000 pairs of slippers and educational materials in various mountain schools. Lately, private individuals from Cebu City have picked- up the project in a social networking site and has launched a complementary program to the tsinelas drive.

         The unit’s feeding program has so far catered to about 6,000 poorly nourished children. It has also tapped the private sector as partners in the project.

Last August 2012, the company facilitated the donation of educational package composed of a television set, desktop computer, and books to Mapulang Duta Elementary School from the ABS– CBN Bantay– Bata 163 Foundation.

As part of its Securing the Youth Program, the company has organized two Youth Leadership Summits in Himamaylan City- one last May, and another last October 12-14, 2012 together with the LGU and DSWD. These summits were participated in by out- of- school youth, students and youth leaders.

Last September, the company spearheaded the celebration of the National Peace Consciousness Month in the 5^th District of Negros Occidental with a series of activities such as the “Bayanihan sa Himamaylan: Musika para sa Kapayapaan” Concert- for– Peace; Mass- for– Peace, Peace Torch Relay and Candle– Lighting for Peace among others. A benefit dance was also initiated by the company to raise funds for the procurement of educational materials for poor school children.

In support of the LGU’s campaign to uplift the economic condition of its constituents, this unit also initiated a Livelihood Training Program on Cosmetology, and Animal Dispersal Program together with the LGU, Provincial Veterinary Office, and Mosser Environment Corporation.

In essence, those activities that I have mentioned are nothing compared to what the LGU’s have been doing to make the lives of the people better. I know for a fact that all of you here are doing your best, contributing your efforts, even your personal time and resources in the interest of public service. As your fellow public servants, we understand your sacrifices too. Hence I encourage you, to continue giving and doing your best because the people deserve nothing but the best from us.

A journey ends: Lessons Learned on the Principles of Leadership

            On June 2, 2013, I relinquished the reign of the company to its new commander in a similar turn- over ceremony when I assumed its command. Time indeed flies so fast. The 18 months I have spent as CO seemed like a fleeting moment. It was gone before I even knew it. The night before my turn- over, I was still working as if it was an ordinary day. I had mixed feelings- both happy and sad. I was happy that my stint was finally over (among many other things), and at the same time I was sad because I would be leaving a lot of people- officers and men and their families whom I have ate with, worked with, played with and most of all served with.  I have gotten so close with them that they seemed like brothers and families to me. But as they say, nothing lasts forever and something’s got to give. I left with a heavy heart but at the same time a heart filled with good memories- of hardworking, dedicated and patriotic soldiers; of supportive and loving families; and of a diverse yet common people- our stakeholders. As I packed my things for my next post, I also packed a lot of lessons learned, some of them I learned the hard way.

 Know Yourself and Seek Self-Improvement.

As a commander, I prepared myself for the job- physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. Although no amount of preparation will ever suffice, still, it pays to prepare accordingly. Company Leadership is not to be taken lightly because you will be entrusted to manage government’s resources including human resources. Lives of people will be placed in your hands therefore you must have a strong foundation to lead them in and out of the battlefield. Leaders must always remember that families- sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, wives and parents are waitin for their loved ones to go back home- ALIVE.

  Be Technically and Tactically Proficient.

Genius- whether skills or knowledge, has no race. It has no monopoly. Everyone has his or her own talents and skills. However, a commander must be the best in what he does- leading men. He must be able to recognize talent or potential from among the people he leads. When I was CO, I didn’t hesitate to ask the opinion of my soldiers especially NCOs when it comes to issues or concerns which I am not an expert in such as vehicles, signal communications, explosives and others. What is important is that I don’t pretend to know things I really am not an authority or expert in. Leaders are supposed to be managers and that includes managing the people’s talents.

sSeek Responsibility and take Responsibility for your Actions.

My company was once implicated in a violent altercation between two families/ groups over land issues. Although, no one was hurt from both sides and from ours, I was prepared to accept responsibility if ever the result wasn’t the same. In PMA, our seniors would often tell us “huwag matakot malasin” (don’t be afraid of any misfortune or punishment) as a result of your actions. What is important is you made a call when a decision was needed most. If any of my men misbehaved (which rarely happened because of our strict implementation of policies), I faced my commander (or any authority) and took responsibility for it.

  Make Sound and Timely Decisions.

It is quite easy to make decisions. What make decisions complicated and hard take are timeliness and soundness considerations. As they say, a bad decision is better than a no decision at all. I agree but as officers, we can make sound and time decisions by constantly weighing our options. We can always take the counsel of knowledgeable persons around us to help us in our decision- making process. War-gaming is very important but it must be done during our lull times.

 Set the Example.

The simplest yet most difficult principle to adhere to is setting the example. When I train my men, I adopt the teach me- show me- involve me methodology. I found it very effective in training soldiers especially the new ones. I tried to be an epitome of a snappy soldier in terms of demeanor, bearing, courage and competence. I showed them how to deal with stakeholders professionally and how to gain the trust and confidence of people they used to treat as adversaries or enemies. In the end, we made a lot of partners in our peace and development efforts.

 Know Your Soldiers and Look Into Their Well-Being.

Trivial as it may sound but as a CO, I knew important details about every soldier in the unit- their first names, birthdays, name of spouses, children and even parents. This is one way showing them that they are valued and recognized as an important part of the unit. I personally greeted them on their birthdays or if not thru other means of communication. I did not hesitate to send them to trainings or career courses. Two of my men actually graduated Number 1 in their respective career courses. Among many other morale and welfare activities such as outings and socials, the company arranged for the wedding, baptism and other religious and sacramental services for those who wanted to avail of it.  

Keep your Subordinates Informed.

Aside from the financial status of the company, I kept my men informed about the current issues and concerns thrusts and programs of the AFP and the government, benefits and services and even new laws, regulations or policies emanating from higher authorities. Financial records were always open for the perusal of every soldier. Personal monetary contributions were minimized unless it was them who arranged or called for it. Operations were thoroughly explained to them especially to the unit leaders. Except for sensitive information which needed maximum discretion, all soldiers knew what we were doing and why we were doing it.

Develop a Sense of Responsibility in Your Subordinates.

Seniors get the privileges befitting of their ranks. However, they also got the bigger slice of the pie when it comes to duties and responsibilities. They also got the ‘lion’s share’ of punishments since higher rank means higher expectations and bigger responsibilities. However, I never administer punishments meant to disgrace men in front of others especially among senior NCOs. I was, as they say, generous with praises but prudent with criticisms.

Ensure that the Task is Understood, Supervised, and Accomplished.

Most of our soldiers do not have fancy college diplomas but it doesn’t mean they are less capable or competent in what they do. To compensate for gaps due language and intellectual barriers, I simplified tasks and duties, including those specified in directives, policies, regulations and the like. I translated tactics, techniques and procedures so that the least among them would be able to understand and translate my guidance into action. I take note of every task I give them to give them the impression that I would always expect compliance.

Build the Team.

One of the first things I did when I assumed as CO was to formulate and communicate the vision and mission with the company. Although I already had a vision and mission in mind, I needed to ensure that the unit would understand and explain them in their own language. I initiated a team- building activity which resulted to, among many others, permanently naming the company according to what they value or believe in. Whenever I notice that there were signs of falling out among the squad members, I would call the attention of the platoon leader and/ or unit leaders to iron out differences thru team- building activities like squad runs, ruck-sack marches, friendly games and others. We also involve their families during our light moments to encourage support and promote pride among them.

Employ the Unit in Accordance with its Capabilities.

This can only be done if you know the strengths and weakness of your men and the entire unit.  A leader must know how to deal with threats, challenges and opportunities whenever they appear. As CO, I knew which squad or team to employ in a particular activity or operation. I also knew who among my men would be able to do exactly what I intended to do. I constantly looked at my options in terms of maneuver, firepower, protection and most importantly leadership. Again, the counsel or opinions of senior NCOs should never be discounted or taken for granted in this principle of leadership.