Demystifying Plebehood: My Fondest Memories of Being a Dumb Guard (Part 3- Cadet Speak)

 I have been following the ongoing senate investigation (or hearing if that sounds more appropriate) on the alleged overpriced Makati Parking Building. At first I was drawn to the statements of the different ‘resource persons’ consisting of engineers, lawyers, administrators, and/or politicians. I was listening intently to the lengthy exchanges between the senators and the resource persons not just out of sheer curiosity but because I was eager to know where the exercise would lead to. After a while I got uninterested and tried to do something else on my computer when suddenly, one of the senators blurted out something like “H’wag nyo po akong bobolahin”…followed by “for that matter…”. Bang! I stopped with what I was reading and shifted my attention to the boob-tube to verify who was talking and what he was talking about. 

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“Bolahin” and “for that matter” are all too familiar phrases. They are among the most commonly used phrases by cadets of the PMA. Bolahin of course, if loosely translated, simply means to spin a story out of something or out of nowhere, basically to pretend that a person knows what he or she is talking about. It is similar to “bilugin ang ulo”- to attempt to make somebody believe your story thinking that he is fool enough to believe it. “For that matter’ is more like “because of that”, “in relation to or related to that”, or “in that connection” like “For that matter, umuwi ka muna at magpahinga” (For that matter, you go home and rest).

But it’s not just the use of the said phrases that caught my attention because I have also heard other civilians use it. There was a distinct tone on how the good senator uttered each phrase. I am sure I was not the only one whose ears immediately reacted when the unique ‘decibel’ hit the eardrums. Anybody who belongs to the long gray line would have easily recognized it. It was like (a) sonar picking up an unusual but familiar sound amidst the undersea current. Was it spoken with a peculiar confidence characteristic of a cadet or an officer? Did it sound assertive or authoritative? Or maybe I was just imagining things.

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When we were plebes, we were issued a handbook called the Gray Notes. It was like a guide that contained PMA facts, frequently asked questions, plebe knowledge, brief history, do’s and don’ts and a glossary of cadet lingo among others. I have since lost my own Gray Notes and I have forgotten most of its contents but I can recall some especially the peculiar lingo that cadets use.

There was one time when I overheard on the radio a police general being interviewed who said something about the ‘paralyzation’ of the traffic to describe how slow the traffic was moving along a particular road. He was of course referring to ‘paralysis’. I don’t believe that the good general did not know the difference between paralysis and paralyzation. It must have been just a simple slip of the tongue out of an old habit of “rambagizing” English words. It might sound odd, it might be grammatically incorrect or it might not conform to language standards but that’s cadet lingo. It is often a play of English, Filipino/ Tagalog and other local languages and dialects. But it is not as if the academy does not have language subjects, or as if the cadets are not taught grammar. On the contrary, the academy has a very stringent language program. As a matter of fact, plebes are actually prohibited from speaking in the vernacular-just English. But cadets always find a way of expressing themselves and communicating with one another other than what is taught of them.

There was also another cavalier who would often say something like “Sir, my analyzation of that matter is like this…”.  Of course it is obvious what he’s referring to. Paralyzation and analyzation are just samples of words you would often hear from Uncle Bobos descendants.

Here’s another sample of an exchange between two cadets that would certainly make you frown:

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Yearling: Late ka is(h) not? (You are late, aren’t you?)

Plebe: Yes Sehh (sir)!!!

Yearling: Why are you late!?

Plebe: No sehh (sir)!!1

Yearling: Anong no? Why nga eh? (What no? I said why are you late?)

Plebe: Yes sehh (sir)!!!

Yearling: For that matter, Scram!

Plebe: Yes sehh (sir)!!!

The conversation would sound ridiculous if you are not familiar with cadet lingo and how cadets communicate with each other with body language (hand gestures, eye movements, posture etc.). A plebe is not supposed to reason out unless he is explicitly asked to do so hence he just answered with “Yes Sir” and “No Sir”. Should it become so important to be heard, he should start by saying: “Cadet Dugumon Sir, may Fourthclassman Dugunits make a statement sir.” He can only start his statement once the addressee acknowledges him. The term dumb guard could be attributed to this custom. A plebe keeps his mouth shut, his eyes and ears open, and his posture upright like a dutiful guard, when being spoken to. He shouldn’t even be noticed at all when he is not being talked to or engaged with. But this doesn’t mean he is ignorant or naïve. He is trained to become innovative, creative and resourceful. He is taught to observe before opening his mouth, and to have enough patience while waiting for his turn to be allowed to speak freely. Rank has its own privileges, duties and responsibilities.

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        Here are more samples: Cadets talking with each other are said to be ‘bolahizing’. Complacent ones are called ‘very lax’, ‘cool na cool’ or ‘coolments’. Those who are always having difficulties in whatever aspects of training are called ‘deficient’ or ‘rotting’. Grave offenses or misdemeanors are referred to as ‘sluggable’. Similarly, a lady or a gentleman whose physical appearance does not seem to pass a cadet’s standard is called ‘sluggable’ too. By the way, 'chinita' or 'chinito' are those gifted with prominent chins while 'ilonggo or ilongga'- well, it's obvious.

Don’t be surprised if somebody announces over the microphone something like ‘band start banding’. He just wants to tell the band to start their repertoire already. If you overheard a cadet saying ‘load and load’ and ‘consume everything’, he is just telling somebody to hurry up and eat all the food on the plate. ‘Hang na hang’ simply refers to a chin protruding prominently from the neck while ‘nagha-hang’ is someone who gets confused easily - as in ‘confusement’ rather than confusion.

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If somebody is displeased over your behavior he would instantly ask you “who arth though?” followed by “ganyan na ba yan ngayon? (Is that the way things are done now?). Beware. That means trouble is forthcoming to you. ‘Kamalasan’ or ‘minalas’ is of course misfortune so avoid being a ‘pa-endorse’ (to invite or court trouble). If you are always inviting trouble to yourself, you will surely be slugged or punished and might become a ‘turista’ or ‘touring bird’ (to do punishment tours around the Borromeo Fied). Also don’t be a ‘pa- snap’ (bootlicker?) especially if your classmates are ‘rotting’ or going through ‘rotment’ (difficulty). Don’t ever attempt to make ‘pa-endorse’ or ‘pa-snap’ to the most ‘magan’ (terror/strict) upperclassman or you will become the flavor of the month.

If you are seen acting like civilian or displaying civilian antics, you will be branded as ‘civis na civis’. If you happen to be physically weak especially in road runs, you are a ‘bogdowner’ or ‘bogging down’ or simply ‘bog down’. When somebody tells you to ‘scram’, leave as quickly as you can before you hear the word ‘back’.  Otherwise your misfortune will double.

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Cadets who are proficient in academics are said to be ‘can take’ but it also refers to those who can accept heavy doses of punishment. It could also mean those who can take responsibility for their actions despite the corresponding punishment.  If you are afraid to be responsible for your actions, you will be branded as ‘takot malasin’ (coward) so better make sure that you are always ‘Alright’ (an honor code challenge). Never get in trouble with the Honor Code or you will find yourself in hot water. ‘Huwag pagago-gago at pakaang- kaang’ is the best advise you can get from seniors telling you to do everything properly and on the dot. So if they tell you to move ‘sixty-sixty’, that means hurry up or move faster. 

All plebes are ‘porsmen’ as all cadets are bugs. Speaking of bugs, I think the term was derived from real bugs because cadets especially plebes are usually seen crawling, docking, trotting and jumping around like bugs. Marching cadets are like ants lining up for food.

          Now let’s see how cadets call themselves. Surnames are often changed for ease of use such as Banaba or Banong for Villanueva, Garic for Garcia, Rayot for Reyes; Ponsoy for Alfonso, Perot for Perez, Galbot for Galvez and so on. I can't understand though why all Mendozas are called  Talming although it's easy to get why Cardenas is Carding or Cordero is Cording. All Tolentinos are Tintoys which later evolved into Toinks. De Vera's are Dabongs while Cervanteses are Bantoys. Aquino is Noqui, Soriano is Sorex, Buenaventura is Bentong, Flores is Florot, Andres is Andang and Torres is none other than Torrot. There's also Dolo Jay for Dolojan and Divines for Divina. And then there's the suffix 'men' to replace the end of some surname like Socsmen, Obsmen, Talbsmen, Tipsmen, Ongsmen etc. The list goes on but it could vary from generation of cadets to generation especially now that social media has invaded the Corps too. 

I do not know how it all started but I still subscribe to my theory that it is from from the military's use of coded communication or code words. It could also be due to the nature of military communication which is simple, brief or concise and devoid of flowery, confusing and wordy statements. Whatever the etymology of these words is, what is more important is that cadets and cavaliers understand each other. After all, that is the essence of communication- to reach out, to accept, to listen and to be heard.

And oh, Bok is still a mystery to me; 'bonkie' is bunkmate; while Mistah is said to be from the word Mister. Go figure out how it became such.

NB: Unlce Bobo photos courtesy of www.facebook.com/pmaunclebobo/photos/