Recollection and Reflection: My Life as a Filipino Soldier

In 2008, I was one of a select few soldiers who tried their luck in the Special Forces Operations Course. I can't remember how many of us started the course and how many actually graduated. I recall there were more than a hundred of us who volunteered to undergo the Special Forces Assessment and Selection (SFAS) as a prerequisite to join the SFOC. SFAS was a month- long program which consisted of several activities to determine whether a prospective candidate is physically and mentally suited to undergo a rigorous ten- month training. We were tested in advance day and night map reading and land navigation, long foot marches with 45-pound ruck sacks and full battle gear, individual and team activities and of course, the physical fitness tests. Unlike regular PFTs that soldiers undergo which consist of only three events-3.2-km run, push up and sit up, those who undergo specialized trainings such as the scout ranger course and SF Operations Course have to pass other events such as pull ups, inverted crawl, sit and reach and standing long jump. After a month, only about 80% of those who volunteered qualified for the regular Course.. Others were just too tired or burnt out to battle ten more months of hardship.

The regular course started with the traditional reception which of course is not a lunch or dinner of sumptuous food and drinks but a day- long serving of army dozens, road runs, log rolls, helicopters, Indian bows and many others which would definitely bring out the best and worst in a student/trainee. Our reception started at about one o’clock of a hot summer afternoon of 2008. Every trainee- whether an officer or enlisted personnel goes through the reception which formally signals the start of the training. As this is an anticipated activity, each soldier prepares himself physically and mentally to last and remain standing at the end of the day otherwise he would blow his chance of getting the much coveted SF TAB. 

I've had several receptions as a soldier. The first was when we were received as plebes or first year cadets of the PMA in 2002. The next was during our Scout Ranger Orientation Course in 2004 at Camp Tecson in San Miguel, Bulacan. Another one came during our basic officer course. The degree of difficulty of a reception actually varies depending on the course or training you take but one thing is sure. You can never be too prepared for any reception day. It always ends with your tongue out of your mouth- gasping for breath and thinking why the hell were you there in the first place. And there's also the reception given when a soldier reports to his new assignment or unit which is often the most memorable.

I guess during that time all of us were really determined to hurdle the course. I don't recall anybody washing out during the first day. After that, our journey as members of SFOC Class 118- 08 officially begun. This means that we were the 118th batch since the Special Forces started training soldiers as part of this elite organization.. 08 is short for 2008, the year that the course was held. 

To be continued…

Recognition Day: More than a Rite of Passage (Part 2)

Maaga pa ay gising na kami sa pinakahihintay na araw namin- ang Recognition Day. Nakatakda kasing ibukas ang aming barracks para sa mga bisita lao na sa mga kapalmiya namin. May open house kumbaga. Ikalawang open house na namin ito. Ang una ay yung sa Summer Camp/ Beast Barracks pa. Bagamat pangalawang beses na ito, kakaiba ang naramdaman namin noon sapagkat nasa totoo at regular na barracks na kami. Todo- linis ang aming ginawa para naman ‘di kami mapahiya. Kinuskos namin nang husto ang mga dingding, pinunasang maigi ang mga bintana at pinakintab ang mga sahig. Inayos naming mabuti ang aming mga kama at kabinet. Pantay na pantay ang pagkakahanay ng nga damit sapatos at pati na ang mga libro. Halos walang makikitang alikabok o anumang dumi ang ordinaryong mga mata. Sa maalala ko ay mayroon pa ngang mga kurtinang ikinabit na parepareho ang kulay sa lahat ng mga kwarto. Pati ang pagkabukas o paling ng mga bintana ay pantay- pantay din. Ang mga salamin naman ay pinalinis nang mabuti gamit ang dyaryo at basahan. At syempre mayroon pang air freshener upang maging mahalimuyak ang aming mga kwarto at kahit paano ay hindi umalingasaw ang pawis na dulot ng mga kabado naming katawan.

“Ang barracks ang piping saksi sa bawat sakripisyo, paghihirap at ginhawa (meron din naman), mga halakhak at hagulhol, at tagumpay at kabiguan namin sa loob ng ilang buwan. Ito ang aming tirahan at tahanan at sa loob nito ay isa kaming pamilya. Ito ang umaaruga sa amin habang malayo kami sa piling ninyo. Dito ko gugulin ang apat na taon upang matupad ang pangarap ko katulad ni Sergeant Mar Cariño sa pelikulang “Mistah”.” Ito sana ang sasabihin ko sa aking mga magulang noon pero syempre hindi ko yun nasabi sa kanila nang sila ay pumanhik na sa aming kwarto. Ang tanging nabanggit ko ay “welcome po”, salamat po sa pagdalaw ninyo, at eto po ang aming kwarto. Katulad noong una, hindi pa rin ako nayakap o nahagkan ng aking mga magulang. Hindi rin ako nakapagmano man lamang sapagkat ayon sa tradisyon at kaugalian, bawal na bawal talaga ang PDA lalo na kapag nakasuot ng full dress white. Sabi ko sa kanila ay saka na lamang ako yakapin kapag nasa labas na kami. Kahit mabigat sa loob ay pumayag na rin ang aking ina. 

S’ya nga pala, bago ang araw ng pagkilala ay maroon pa kaming pinagdaanang seremonya. Suot ang kanya- kanyang Company Athletic Uniform (berde ang suot namin sa Alfa), nagpakitang gilas kami sa mga bisita kung gaano na kalakas ang aming mga isip at pangangatawan mula nang huli nila kaming nakita. Animo’y mga atleta o manlalaro kami na nagpapaligsahan sa ibat- ibang ehersisyo na ang aming ginawa sa harap ng napakaraming tao na dumayo pa mula sa ibat-ibang daki ng bansa. Balewala ang Army Dozen noon- dala na rin siguro ng adrenaline at kasiyahan. Umikot kami sa lahat ng walong kumpanya sa gitna ng Borromeo Field upang patunayan sa mga nakatataas na antas na handang- handa na kami upang ma- recognize. Hindi namin alintana ang pawis at putik na bumalot sa aming katawan bagkus ay ang kasiyahan at excitement sa napipintong pagtatapos ng aming paghihirap. Makalipas ang ilang oras ay tumunog na ang trumpeta- hudyat na tapos na ang unang bahagi ng programa. Pinawi ng malakas na buhos ng tubig mula sa trak ng bumbero ang putik at pawis na bumalot sa amin. Napawi na rin ang iba pang mga agam-agam at hinagpis na naipon sa amin sa mga nakaraang buwan.

Kinabukasan, pagkatapos ng open house, ay nagsipuntahan na kami sa Quezon Avenue upang humanay para sa nakatakdng parada. Sa kabila ng kasiyahan ay abot- langit pa rin ang aking kaba. Siguro ay dahil mas mataas na ang inaasahan o expectation sa amin kumpara sa noong nakaraang incorporation. Sadyang mahirap gawin ang tinatawag bridge posture o position (ito yung exaggerated na porma ng katawan na parang nakaarko ang likod at nakabaon ang baba sa leeg na ginagawa upang mahubog ang postura ng isang plebo), pero nakuha ko itong tiisin sa loob ng ilang oras. Sabi kasi ng aming iskwad lider at buddy ay matatapos na ang ganitong mga klaseng gawain kapag kami ay recognized na.

Muling nanindig ang aking balahibo nang magsimulang tugtugin ng banda ang Awit Plebo o Plebesong...

As each Saturday adds to our past

Every month filled with mem’ries that last

We have left at the end of each day

Some weak habits of thought or of play

Insignificant in their esteem

‘till the day that is still but a dream

The parades and inspections and then

The corrections are part of a glorious scheme

 Knock Knock

Oh, we do or die, raise our knees waist high

For we’ve learn to do without asking why

Though we often doze

Change within us grows

And true manliness clearly shows

Knock Knock

Para akong nakalutang sa hangin subalit tantyado ang aking mga hakbang at sensitibo ang aking mga tainga sa lahat ng mga utos o command. Pinag- igihan ko ang pag- martsa sapagkat alam kong nanonood kasama ng napakaraming tao ang aking pamilya at mahal sa buhay. Mas magaling na rin kami sa pagsaganap ng pagsasanay sa paghawak ng sandata o manual of arms kumpara noong parada ng Incorporation Day. Dumadagungdong ang palakpakan ng mga manood sa bawat hakbang o kilos na aming ginawa.

Hindi nagtagal ay hinudyat na ang seremonya ng pagkilala o recognition. Sa saliw muli ng Awit Plebo ay bumuo kami ng hugis walonsulok o octagon na kumakatawan sa walong balangay- mula Alfa hanggang Hawk. Bilang na bilang ang mga hakbang na aming ginawa sapagkat bawat isa ay may nakatakdang posisyon upang maging perpekto ang hugis ng walonsulok. Nang mabuo na ang hugis ay saka naman nagmartsa papunta sa aming mga harapan ang mga tigre at leon-ang mga nakatataas na antas o upper class. Muli kaming nag-bridge sa kanilang harapan tanda nang pagiging plebo. Nagsimulang tugtugin ang Strong Hearts at habang ito ay itinutugtog, isa- isa kaming kinamayan ng mga upper class at ibinangon kami mula sa bridge position upang ganap na maging matikas ang aming mga tayo.

Let every heart with fervor sing

While bugle sounds recall

Let scroll unfold old tidings bring…

The mem’ries dear to all –

For hearts are young again, my dear

For hearts are again.

We’ve known the warmth of hearts before

Let old mem’ries live again.

Ito na yung tinatawag na blessed handshake-isang ordinaryong kamayan lamang kung titingnan ngunit may nakapaloob na malalim na kahulugan. Ang higpit ng pagdadaupang palad at yakap ang tanging saksi sa kung anumang kahulugan mayron ito sa bawat kadete. Hindi ko rin namalayan ang pagpatak ng aking luha lalo na nung kamayan at yakapin ako ng isang kadete na sa tingin ko ay ang siyang nagpahirap nang husto sa akin ngunit siya namang may pinaka maraming naituro at naibahagi akin.

 Our alma mater hail to thee

May each loyal sons proclaim

Tho’ yonder we may roam and die

We’ll ever be the same

For hearts are strong in thee, my dear

For hearts are strong in thee

We’ll stand the test of time and woe

Ever loyal sons to you.

Ito ang Recognition Day. Ordinaryong seremonya lamang kung titingnan ngunit sa gitna nito ay ang napakaraming kwento ng sakripisyo at tagumpay, pighati at kasiyahan, luha at halakhak at higit sa lahat mga samahang nagsimulang pandayin at pagkakaibigang susubukin ng panahon at kapatirang nagbibigkis sa Long Gray Line.

And when the taps shall sound for men

Banners drape my last remains.

Let singing comrades burry me

To the echo of the strains

For hearts will live and die for thee

Forever live in thee

Young blood shall come to carry on

When the old strong hearts are gone.

Recognition Day: More than a Rite of Passage

We were recognized sometime in September of 2002, again in a very memorable and dramatic ceremony which brought my family back to Baguio City just a few months after the Incorporation Day. But unlike during their first visit, I no longer requested them to bring food for me.  They must have wondered why.

Recognition Day is easily one of the most memorable moments for any member of the long gray line. The so called blessed handshake of the upperclassmen virtually brings tears to every plebe who had to live one day at a time before being recognized as a regular member of the corps.

 After being incorporated or integrated to the regular corps, a fourth class cadet continues to live each day like a recruit, like a neophyte. He spends his day-to-day life perfecting basic cadet skills. He learns how to iron different sets of uniform and shine pairs and pairs of shoes to corps standards, while studying his lessons and memorizing trivia’s. He sees to it that his room is always inspection-ready; his M14 rifle as clean and rust-free as possible; his bunks as neat as can be; and his closets as organized as his schedules. He perfects the art of complying with several orders at a time by mentally planning his routes and actions, and calculating the risks involved. He learns how to prepare contingency measures in case one or two of his actions fail. He keeps tab of the peculiarities of his upperclassmen so that he wouldn’t have to second guess every time he receives orders from them. He learns how to prioritize tasks not just based on its importance or urgency but also on the personality of the person behind it.

A plebe knows that his existence and survival inside the corps depend on his ability to adapt to a tight and peculiar environment. As such, he learns how to deal with different personalities and tries to be a friend to everyone. He delivers what is required of him with or without the help of his fellow plebes, but then again, he is prepared to extend a hand to those in need. He complies with orders as efficiently as he can without making others look bad or shabby, without stepping on their shoes. He tries to befriend everybody without appearing shabby and assuming or over-bearing. He tries his best to be as pleasing as possible in the eyes of his peers and seniors without being labeled as “sip-sip” or bootlicker. More importantly, he doesn’t let a day pass without doing any good to others, and without learning a single thing.

Only recognized plebes can shake hands with the senior cadets thus the so-called “blessed handshake”. Recognition is a rite of passage. It signifies that you have hurdled what the senior have gone through. It means you have passed the same pathway they have traversed; the same uphill and downhill they have gone through; the same shoes that they have worn. It mean that you now share a common experience, a common bond. Being recognized means you have done the most impossible tasks such as finding a blue rose before the break of the dawn; wearing 50 bath robes all at once that you look so fat you would even laugh at yourself; and producing a hundred and one white hankies or bed sheets just because you forgot to bring one or had one with a smudge on it. Recognition means you have done your part in cleaning the bathroom using a toothbrush just because the tiles and bowls weren’t as white as your teeth. It means you have tried catching a fish in the middle of the night without getting yourself caught by the sentinel. It means you have written dozens and dozens of love letters and sweet nothings to a girl you don’t even know except for the description given to you by his cadet-suitor. Recognition says you have run back and forth from the main gate to the rampart countless number of times. It says you know how to dash from the barracks to the canteen or wherever the source of food is without being noticed at all. It says you have succeeded in drenching a whole spread of a newspaper with just your sweat or spent an entire night learning all types of knots.

For every cavalier, Recognition Day is no ordinary day. Beyond the endless orders which may appear more trivial than practical; tasks and activities that may look useless than valuable and worthwhile; and jokes that may sound corny than funny, recognition means a plebe hurdled his initial journey towards being called a PMAer. It means he has shed off a significant amount of his civilian antics and that he has surrendered most, if not all of the liberties available to men or women of his age. It means he has begun to embrace honor as a way of life. It says he has submitted himself to a life to be lived with courage, integrity and loyalty. It says he has begun to internalize Charles de Gaulle’s undying words:

"Men who adopt the profession of arms submit to their own free will 

to a law of perpetual constraint of their own accord. 

They resist their right to live where they choose,

 to say what they think, to dress as they like. 

It needs but an order to settle from their family and dislocate their normal lives. 

In the world of command they must rise, march, run, 

endure bad weather, go without sleep or food, 

be isolated in some distant post, work until they drop. 

If they drop in their tracks, if their ashes are scattered in the four winds, 

that is all part and parcel of their job."

Ang Linggo sa Loob ng Sampanaw: Mga Natatanging Karanasan ng Isang Dumb Guard (Part 8)

Do not let Sunday be taken from you.

 If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.

                                                                                                 

                                                                                                  -Albert Schweitzer

Ang araw ng Linggo ang isa sa pinaka-aabangan ng bawat kadet ng PMA- lalo na ng mga plebo. Kapag Linggo kasi, malaki ang pagkakataaon na makakapagpahinga ng mabuti ang isang plebo. Medyo maluwag din sa amin ang mga kadeteng nasa mataas na antas lalo na kung sila ay pinayagan na makalabas at makapagliwaliw sa Baguio kasama ang kanilang mga mahal sa buhay.

Ganoong oras pa din ang gising namin sa tuwing araw ng Linggo. Ang mga nakatakdang gawain sa Iskedyul ng mga Tawag (Schedule of Calls) ay pareho pa rin. Naglilinis, nagbubunot, naghaharana at naghahanda pa rin kami ng aming mga uniporme para sa maghapon. Ngunit ang Linggo ay isang masayang araw.

Maaga ang umagahan sapagkat lahat kami ay nakatakdang dumalo sa misa (kung ikaw ay Katoliko) at iba pang sebisyong pang- ispiritwal o religious services. Bawat kadete ay binibigyan ng kalayaan kung saang simbahan, kapilya o sekta ng relihiyon niya gustong magpunta. Pinakamarami ang mga Katoliko samantalang mayroon ding mga Iglesia ni Kristo, Baptist, Seventh Day Adventist, Mormons, Born Again Christian. Ang mga kadeteng Muslim ay may nakalaang silid- sambahan at may Imam na pumupunta sa nakatakdang araw upang pamunuan ang kanilang pagsamba. Dahil sa Katoliko at iilang sekta lamang ang mayroong simbahan o sambahan sa loob ng PMA, karaniwang pinapayagang lumabas sa ilang dako ng Baguio ang mga kadete tuwing Linggo upang magsimba o magsamba. Bagamat ako ay isang Katoliko, makailang beses din akong dumalo sa mga ganitong pagtitipon kasama ang aming iskwad lider noon na si Kadete T at P.

Pagkatapos ng umagahan ay agad na kaming lumalakad papunta sa kapilya ng San Ignasyo (St. Ignatius Chapel). Si San Ignasyo daw ang tinatawag na patron ng mga sundalo. Suot namin ang uniporme na tinatawag na Full Dress Gray. Para kaming mga langgam na kulay abo na pila-pilang naglalakad paahon sa kapilya na medyo may kalayuan din mula sa aming mga baraks. Subalit balewala ang ganoon kahabang lakad. Maliban sa malalakas at nasa kondisyon ang aming mga pangangatawan, naroon ang kagalakan na makapagsimba at magkaroon ng pagkakataon na makausap ng masinsinan ang Panginoon sa loob ng Kanyang Tahanan. Dagdag pa rito ay ang pagkakataong makapag- relax ng kaunti sapagkat kusang lumuluwag sa amin ang mga nakatataas sa loob ng simbahan bagamat mahigpit pa ring ipingababawal ang pagtulog habang nakikinig ng banal na misa. May mga pagkakataon ding nakakahalubilo namin ang ilang mga sibilyan o mga bisita na doon ay nagsisimba. Bonus na rin siyempre kung may mga dalagang nadoon pero hindi kami nagkakamaling tumingin sa kanila. Tiyak kasi na may nakatataas na antas na nakabakod sa kanila at sa isang maling pihit ng aming leeg ay siguradong kapahamakan na. 

 

Ang Kapilya ni San Ignasyo sa loob ng PMA. (Courtesy: www.pma.ph)

Kasabay naming nagsisimba ang superintendente, kumandante at ang kanilang mga pamilya. Kapwa mababait sina Sup at Com noon. Noong kami ay mga plebo, naabutan namin bilang PMA Sup si Rufo de Veyra at General Ed Adan - kapwa mga respetado at hinahangaang mga kabalyero at opisyal ng AFP. Samantala, sumunod naman sa kanilang mga yapak sina General Cris Balaoing at General Pol Maligalig. Si General Maligalig sa pagkakaalam ko ang tanging Sup na naitalaga pagkatapos niyang maging Kumandante. “Direct to mess”, wika ka nga.

Ang misa sa kapilya ay nakakapanindig- balahibo sapagkat napakaayos o napaka-organisado nito. Ang mga kadete ang nagsisilbi bilang mga taga- awit o choir, tagasilbi sa altar, taga-asikaso ng mga bisita o usher at usherette at iba pa. Dahil nga sa ito ay misa sa loob ng kampo, hindi mawawala ang pagkanta ng Pmabansang Awit ng Pilipinas na Lupang Hinirang. Subalit ang hindi ko makakalimutan ay ang sabay-sabay naming pagbibigkas ng Panalangin ng Kadete o Cadet’s Prayer. Hanggang sa ngayon, kabisado ko pa ang mga linya nito na isinulat ng mga kabalyerong sina Uldarico Baclagon at Deogracias Caballero, kapwa miyembro ng Klase 1940.  Ito ay ang mga sumusunod.

"Grant us, Oh God, that we may worship Thee to the utmost of faith and the limits of truth and suffer us not to fail to see the light of our true religion. Guide us that we may live this life to the fullest in devotion to Thee, in service to humanity and country and in the realization of our true self. Let the light of Thy divine wisdom direct us to a firm resolve to live up at all times to the creeds of our institution and teach us never to fail to measure up to the ideals of the profession we have chosen through life to follow. Make us do or think or say of others that which we want done, or thought, or said of us. Help us to live each day in the passing years in useful efforts that our lives may be spent in accord with the pattern of our creeds -the true, the noble, and the high. Give us that honest purpose in life which seeks fair deal with everyone and spurns all forms of hypocrisy that will enkindle our fighting faith, and smother all seeds of cowardice and fear in our hearts; the loyalty to our principles that places all issues above personal considerations, and shuns compromise with vice and injustice. Strengthen our hearts with fortitude that we may discipline our lives to trail the difficult paths rather than to stray on the easier ways. Teach us to aspire above the levels of common lives. Help us to see all things in their true light that we may guard against the frivolity in the sacred things of life even as we may enjoy in clear laughter its many delights. Teach us to make our play in every game, whether in mere sports or in life's mightier struggles, one where our desire to win is second only to our love of the game itself, where we triumph as considerate victors or lose with grace and a determined will to win. Endow our hearts with kindness that we may sympathize with those who sorrow and suffer; unite us in friendship, with all and help us share the merriment of those with cheerful countenance that we may partake of their joy. All of which we ask with faith to the everlastingness of Thine fount of grace to all men. Amen."

 Pagkatapos ng misa, at pagkatapos batiin ang isat-isa ng "Happy Sunday", agad- agad kaming bumabalik sa aming baraks upang magsipag-bihis ng Athletic Uniform. Kadalasan kasi ay nagyayang tumakbo papuntang PMA Gate ang aming iskwad lider o buddy. Minsan naman ay sa swimming pool o gym ang puntahan namin upang hasain ang aming paglangoy o kaya ay pakisigin ang aming katawan. Pagkatapos nito ay kadalasang sa bowling canteen ang aming bagsak upang tikman ang masarap na batchoy at long john (isang uri ng tinapay) doon. Si Ate Rose (ewan ko kung nasaan na siya ngayon) ang tagapamahala ng canteen noon.

Pagkatapos naman ng tanghalian ay simula na naman ng pribiliheyo ng mga nakatataas na antas. Pinapayagan silang lumabas ng PMA kung wala silang parusang pingsisilbihan, at kung sila ay hindi deficient (nakakuha ng mababang grado) sa anumang sa kurso o asignatura. Siyempre, masaya kami kung wala sila sapagkat pwede kaming matulog maghapon o kaya naman ay pwede kaming magliwaliw sa loob ng PMA. At kung malakas talaga ang loob mo ay pwede ka ring mag-istima o “entertain” ng iyong bisita.

Sadyang sinusulit namin ang araw ng Linggo o Araw ng Panginoon. Kinabukasan kasi ay simula na naman ng isang araw, ng isang buong linggo. Kung paano ito magsisimula o matatapos ay bahagi lamang ng tinatawag na “a day in the life of a cadet”.