Dear Ruth Carmela Zamielle 9

 

16 July 2020

Dear Ruth Carmela Zamielle,

Happy Birthday my baby love. 

It feels like every time I come home (and that’s every day), you have grown a little more. I am afraid that if I am away even for just a short while, I would have missed something. I am scared that you are growing up so fast I might not be able to catch up with you. Whenever I look at you, I miss all those times when you were small and I can carry you with my arms, or put you on my shoulders no matter how long the walk. 

I miss all those years we would walk hand in hand with Mommy because you were afraid to let go. Now, quickly, you are learning to be on your own. You can now walk, stroll, run, and have fun pretty much by yourself. It scares me to think that in a few more years, you might be totally on your own, and you no longer have a need for us. I am just consoled by the thought that we have taught you well, and that we have given you the best we can to prepare you for the road ahead. 

I am sorry my little princess for all those times when I was away, and not being able to join you or see you during your happiest moments. I am sorry for not being there to play with you or watch you play the piano or dance ballet. Know that wherever I go, you and Mommy are always in my thoughts and in my mind. I think of you whenever I eat good food, or see a nice place. I remember you whenever I am happy, wishing you were both there to share my happiness and laughter.

You are a wonderful kid- sweet, thoughtful, and kind. You are everything a parent can ask for. You always bring smile to me and I always look forward to seeing you. You never fail to impress me with your wit and smart retorts. How I wish we could spend all day just telling silly stories, or playing games you invented. And I am sorry that sometimes I beat you in rock, papers, and scissors.

I just want you to know that I am so proud of you. I wasn’t as good as you when I was your age. You are indeed a better version of me, of your mommy. And no matter what you become, you will always be our most precious jewel. 

I hope you will have another memorable day today, surrounded by family and our extended family. I know you are a great kid with a noble heart just like your mom. 

Don’t forget to be always respectful and loving especially to your Mamita, Mommy, and Tita Mommy. Love them with all of your heart because they love you more than you will ever know. Always pray for your Daddy Lo in heaven too.

Go on my child. Enjoy your day and all the days and years ahead. Be happy. 

If you have any problems, do not ever hesitate to tell me and your mommy. We will always be your greatest and best friends. We will always be your fan and supporter, and we will always be with you. 

Happy 9th Birthday! We love you so much.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Ruth Carmela Zamielle 6

Dear Ruth Carmela Zamielle,

How time flies.

I know you have heard this so many times before but I can't help but wonder how fast time really flies.  It seemed like it was only yesterday when you turned one year old and then suddenly you're now six. It was only yesterday when you learned to talk and walk but now you already know how to use the Facebook. Wasn't it just the other year when you began to read like a pro? Now, I can't fool you anymore because you can read every word I show you. I still remember how we used to hold your two hands to teach you how to walk but now you rarely need my assistance anymore.

Anak, I am glad you are growing up fast..faster than I have imagined. I am truly happy that your brain developed earlier than we have expected yet I am also sad, thinking that sooner or later, you will not be needing us anymore. You are quickly adapting to this world, learning a lot of things everyday. You never fail to surprise me with your witty retorts. You always amaze me with the maturity you are showing- something we didn't have when we were your age.

I must admit I was excited to give you your own room, your own bed, your own sanctuary. I was excited when you asked to have a space you can call your own. But on the night you finally slept on your own bed, I was not able to sleep. What if you fell? What if you get hurt? What if...? I wasn't able to sleep well fighting the urge to check on you, to see if you're okay. Thank God. You slept soundly and didn't seem to miss us at all. You woke up all smiles having found your own niche.

Your mom and I have been telling each other that it was a mistake to give you your own room this early. I'm sure she misses your hugs at night. I'm sure she misses how you twist and turn beside her and use her tummy as your pillow. I miss you too. I miss how you unintentionally kick my face or rest your legs on my tummy; and how I carefully move about so as not to wake you up. I miss how you whimper whenever your sleep is disturbed by the slightest sound. I miss tickling your feet and kissing your face just to wake you up in the morning. And I miss how you play with my ears or nose whenever you wake up ahead of me.

Did you know that I look forward to waking up and waiting for you to hug me?  I hope we will never forget that routine even though you're already grown up. I wish we will always walk hand in hand especially when I'm already too old to walk straight. I wish you would never leave our side but I know sooner or later you would want to pursue your own destiny. I know that nobody can stop you from walking your own path in the future but I hope you will always be ready to listen to us. Our hands will always be ready to pull you up when you fall down and even carry you with my wobbly legs when you're too tired to walk...just like how I used to carry you on my shoulders.

Sometimes your mom and I cant help but tell ourselves how we wish you will not grow up so soon. We know that is silly but you can't really blame us for feeling that way. We will probably dread the day when you will have to bid us goodbye to live in a boarding school (not abroad I hope). It would probably be the saddest day of our lives but we will have to embrace it. As your parents, we will do our best to support you in your future endeavors, to give you the best education there is, to ensure you will have a good life and a bright future. 

Anak, on your 6th Birthday, may you always be grateful and thankful for all the blessings you have received from the Lord. May you never forget to give back to others, especially those who are in dire conditions. Always be humble and learn to look back from where you came from. Be respectful all the time. Be grateful and generous to people around you especially to your nannies and kuyas. Be good to them and they will be good to you. Show great love and affection to your Mom more than anybody else. She sacrificed a lot for you. She deserves all the love you can give. Love your Grandparents because they love you more than you'll ever know. Love your family because they are the most precious thing in the universe. Remember, it was you who said that the most precious thing in our home is not the furniture but FAMILY.

Lastly, always remember that we love you very much. Happy 6th Birthday, Ruthie!

Love,

Daddy 

Dear Ruth Carmela Zamielle 5

16 July 2016

Dear Ruth Carmela Zamielle,

I wanted to write to you in Filipino or Tagalog on your 5th birthday but I think you're not yet prepared to twist your tongue. Just let your daddy do the tongue-twisting exercise then. I'll try my best to write in English despite my limited vocabulary. I must admit you now know more words than I did when I was your age. I am often amused when you suddenly blurt out words like squeezshy and slimy or say 'I am bored', 'I am disappointed'...I am glad you can now clearly express yourself-faster than we expected you to be able to. I can't hide my amusement whenever you remind us how to behave as adults, as parents. I was caught spot on when you told us "Daddy, the phone is not your family". I almost dropped my jaw and my phone when you suddenly confronted us when we were not paying attention to you.  Do you remember telling your Mamita "It's ok Mom. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes". I must say you make us realize what parenting should be about- time, commitment and patience.

Just recently, I was dumbfounded when I asked you if you were having any difficulty with your schedule and you told me "I can handle it, Daddy. Don't worry about it". While I was glad that you are actually enjoying your classes and the extra-curricular activities, I am also saddened upon realizing that very soon, you will stop deferring to us for approval. Very soon, you will have your own will and you will want your own independence and freedom. You will have more and more friends whom you would prefer to hold hands with, whom you would want to hug and share stories with, and whom you want to spend more time with. I dread that day when you'd rather go out with them, travel to different places and explore the world instead of me and your Mom. You should have known how I felt the first time you told us you already had a crush. You could say cat got my tongue for a moment.

I know I should be happy that you are growing fast, healthy and smart- what else could a father wish for. I know I should be excited that in no time, you can fend for yourself, make decisions alone and live a life. I must admit I am both anxious and eager for you to grow up. As your Dad, I can't help but be worried and excited about your future. Life is difficult but it is beautiful to say the least. Dangers are everywhere and yet, the world is such a beautiful place to live in. I worry about your safety everyday as I worry about you mommy's. Yet I know my worries shouldn't  hinder you from discovering the world. I am sure my parents, and your mommy's parents felt the same way when we were your age.But somehow they managed to outlive their fears and anxieties about us. I should feel the same way for you. As your parents, your Mommy and I will worry about you every single day but it won't stop us from letting you see the beauty of the world, face daily challenges, and live life to the fullest.

I wish there's a better way to say Happy Birthday to you Ruthie- our one and only baby. I wish there's a sweeter way to say how much we love you. But did you know what everyday of the last five years is like your birthday for us? We thank God everyday for giving you to us. You are the biggest blessing we ever had. As you grow up, I hope and pray that you would feel the same way towards us-me, your Mom, Tita Mommy, Mamita, Daddy Lo, Lolo Sam and Lola Lyn and the entire family. As such we will try everyday to be a blessing to you. It is my fervent wish that you would grow up knowing, loving and fearing the Lord. It is my hope that you would live a life devoid of hardship and misery,  surrounded by people who reciprocate your love, and full of God's blessings you can enjoy and share to others.

Happy Birthday, Anak. We love you.

Love,

Daddy

To the World, You are A Mother...

08 May 2016

Love,

When I was small, mama told me that a mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.

This year’s Mother’s Day reminds me of the many sacrifices that you have made for this family, for our family.  Sometimes you lament on how you can no longer buy the things you want because Ruth’s needs come first. I have seen you lust over some things- bags, shoes, jewelries and all the girl stuff but backed out for her ballet, swimming, writing, tutor, ramen, playdate, toys and other requests and demands. I’ve witnessed how you’ve set aside the things you dreamed of or aspire for to give way to my own ambitions. I’ve seen you go out of your comfort zone, leave behind what you’ve been used to, let go of things dear to you just to be with me, to be with us and build a family. I’ve seen you cry in frustration over unfulfilled promises, unmet obligations, unsettled issues and failed expectations. Sometimes you get disappointed when things just don’t go your way, or when Ruthie and I get into your nerves. And of course there were also lots of instances when I also lost my cool and allowed circumstances to overwhelm me. And for that I ask for your forgiveness. I’m sorry for not letting you win all the time. I’m sorry for being lousy, moody, angry, bossy and all the –y’s. Human as we are, we get hurt, frustrated, and angry. But know this: In all those times when it seemed we were on the brink of collapse and in danger of breaking up, I never lost faith in you, in us. I never for once entertained the thought of being away and walking out on us. I just hope you had the same sentiment, too.

There have been a lot of times when we fought like we were on the brink of giving up on each other. Our arguments were bad and unreasonable. Our words were not palatable at all and our actions were beyond acceptable. Indeed we have been through a lot of tough and rough times. It’s a shame that there were even occasions when our baby witnessed our transgressions. Let me just tell you that in spite of the many fights that we have had, I never, even for a minute stopped loving you.

This mother’s day let me once again extol you for doing all you can and giving your best to us. Thank you for being a supermom to Ruth and a superwife to me. I know I am sometimes more childish than her which makes your job as a mother more difficult. And for that, I owe you forever’s worth of tender and loving care. You may get tired, annoyed, disappointed, irritated, angry, frustrated and disillusioned at times but I hope you will never give up on us. You are our only hope, our most comfortable place, our only sanctuary. You are what makes the family glued together so please be strong and keep holding on. You are a good mother, the best in your own right, the best in our eyes.

Remember, God could not be everywhere, and He can’t be around Ruthie and Me all the time so he gave someone named Mary Pauline to us.

Happy Mother’s Day. May you keep growing in God’s mercy and love. We love you.

Dearest Ruth Carmela Zamielle

16 July 2013

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.

This is a Chinese adage that I have learned years back. Until now, it reminds me of the many steps- both big and small, that I have to take whenever I want to achieve something. Indeed, each journey begins with a single step. After you have made your first step, you can (now) decide whether to continue with small steps, take a stride or leap forward. Many times I have taken small steps when I should have made bigger ones. And there were instances too, when I took bold steps when I should have chosen small ones. Indeed experience is the best teacher. It will teach you when to hurry up or when to slow down a bit to catch your breath; when to break into a run or just calm down and proceed cautiously.

I am giving you a pair of slippers on your 2^nd Birthday because by now, you have learned to walk on your own feet. How beautiful it is for your Mom and I to watch you stand up and walk by yourself. It pains us to see you fall sometime but we must accept that it is part of growing up, of exploring the world. You will soon break free from our hands and choose to spread your arms like wings. You will soon discover that you can do greater things when you are free, when nobody is holding you, when no one is restraining your every move. But we do hope that as you discover both the little and big steps that you can do, you will always look back to where you came from- from the loving hands of Mommy and Daddy, and all those people who love you and care for you a lot.

Go my baby…our princess. Take those steps. Walk. Run. Fly. Have fun. Don’t be afraid. Always remember that we are always here for you. When you seem lost in your way, “when the road your trudging seems all uphill”, when darkness is everywhere, remember that you can always look back and run to us because we will be there always waiting for you. When you are happy, making the best out of life, enjoying every second of it, GO ON. We will be happy for you. We will always pray for your safety, for your happiness, for your success.

I hope that the pair slippers will always remind you of that Chinese adage. When you’re in a hurry with life, slow down and take a deep breath. Take time to enjoy the beauty of those around you, smell the flowers, enjoy the sun, and count your blessings. Strive to be happy.

You are our dearest child, and forever you’ll be. We love you very much.

Love,

Daddy

Army Wife

I am about to be in a one- year married life. Being an soldier’s wife is like having a struggling journey day by day. I need to stand as a single parent to our child and at the same time as a mother as well in school. I know it is part of being a wife and a teacher but still, there are times I keep telling myself that I must survive.

                   

Yes! Its true… Being an ARMY WIFE is also a job in itself and can be very difficult. Deployments prove challenging and army wives meet the task of holding the family together, standing by their husbands, and managing the myriad  routine responsibilities of everyday living, such as home and career. There will be times of sadness and uncertainty but they must always be prepared to seek professional help as a way of coping with the stress.

          

Coping with the reality of being a military spouse is no simple task. It is particularly difficult when you don’t see your husband for months or years at a time when they deploy. The stress of a separation is further intensified by the danger associated with deployments and the risk of possibly losing your love one. Finding ways to deal with the harsh reality of a deployment while providing support to your deployed spouse is essential to preserving a relationship.

    

All strong women with a good sense of the importance of friendship, love and appreciating the time they have with their husbands, who are often being deployed in other places for months or longer, must understand their husband’s work. Although all army wives handle deployments differently, they all have one thing in common. An army wife would say that it’s her friends, family, faith and fun that gets them through. She has her own individual way of keeping busy and facing each day with her head up, ready to take on the challenge.

 

Some wives do not really have any idea what their husbands do for a living other than the job title and were the husband works. Army wives however, have more intimate connection with their husbands’ employer– the Philippine Army. The army is usually a key player in the family.

So why did I marry a soldier? Maybe it is his courage and patriotism. Maybe it is that strong self-confidence he radiates. Or maybe  it is how handsome he looks in his uniform. 

An army wife has decided to throw in her lot with a military man.

At times, I feel if I cannot carry the burden of life because I feel I am alone most of the time. However, the baby I am now carrying with both hands and both shoulders who smiles at me all the time, makes me appreciate the life I had chosen with the man of my choice. Sometimes I am afraid because my husband’s life is always in danger but my faith keeps  me going-knocking in me and holding my strength to trust and be loyal to him. And the best support I’ve received is from my fellow army wives. There is no one else in the world who can understand the pain and stresses of these deployments and dangers. Whenever I need to vent, cry, complain, I just call one of my army wife friends. I know I can always count on them.

Moreover, it is hard to balance my time sometimes but I know God is guiding me throughout the day. I am still very thankful and glad because I met an army man who is responsible, caring and loving, and I have a child who makes me appreciate every morning of my life. There are people around who keep telling me that life is tough but I know that all I need is to face it with a smile. I have learned how to deal with emotional pain and stress in ways that I never knew I could. 

To be an army wife is something really special. This job is not for just anyone. Army wives are one of a kind. It is hard to be an army wife because of the distance but do you know what’s interesting about it? It is the challenge between us to strengthen our bond, our vow and the love that we have for each other.

(Written by Mrs Cornelio, a High School Teacher and the wife of Cpl Wilden Cornelio. They were married on February 14, 2012 in a military wedding ceremony at the Charlie Company Headquarters in Himamaylan City. This article appeared in Ang Kalis- the Company's official news-magazine, 2012-2013 issue)