Dear Ruth Carmela Zamielle,
I wanted to write to you in Filipino or Tagalog on your 5th birthday but I think you're not yet prepared to twist your tongue. Just let your daddy do the tongue-twisting exercise then. I'll try my best to write in English despite my limited vocabulary. I must admit you now know more words than I did when I was your age. I am often amused when you suddenly blurt out words like squeezshy and slimy or say 'I am bored', 'I am disappointed'...I am glad you can now clearly express yourself-faster than we expected you to be able to. I can't hide my amusement whenever you remind us how to behave as adults, as parents. I was caught spot on when you told us "Daddy, the phone is not your family". I almost dropped my jaw and my phone when you suddenly confronted us when we were not paying attention to you. Do you remember telling your Mamita "It's ok Mom. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes". I must say you make us realize what parenting should be about- time, commitment and patience.
Just recently, I was dumbfounded when I asked you if you were having any difficulty with your schedule and you told me "I can handle it, Daddy. Don't worry about it". While I was glad that you are actually enjoying your classes and the extra-curricular activities, I am also saddened upon realizing that very soon, you will stop deferring to us for approval. Very soon, you will have your own will and you will want your own independence and freedom. You will have more and more friends whom you would prefer to hold hands with, whom you would want to hug and share stories with, and whom you want to spend more time with. I dread that day when you'd rather go out with them, travel to different places and explore the world instead of me and your Mom. You should have known how I felt the first time you told us you already had a crush. You could say cat got my tongue for a moment.
I know I should be happy that you are growing fast, healthy and smart- what else could a father wish for. I know I should be excited that in no time, you can fend for yourself, make decisions alone and live a life. I must admit I am both anxious and eager for you to grow up. As your Dad, I can't help but be worried and excited about your future. Life is difficult but it is beautiful to say the least. Dangers are everywhere and yet, the world is such a beautiful place to live in. I worry about your safety everyday as I worry about you mommy's. Yet I know my worries shouldn't hinder you from discovering the world. I am sure my parents, and your mommy's parents felt the same way when we were your age.But somehow they managed to outlive their fears and anxieties about us. I should feel the same way for you. As your parents, your Mommy and I will worry about you every single day but it won't stop us from letting you see the beauty of the world, face daily challenges, and live life to the fullest.
I wish there's a better way to say Happy Birthday to you Ruthie- our one and only baby. I wish there's a sweeter way to say how much we love you. But did you know what everyday of the last five years is like your birthday for us? We thank God everyday for giving you to us. You are the biggest blessing we ever had. As you grow up, I hope and pray that you would feel the same way towards us-me, your Mom, Tita Mommy, Mamita, Daddy Lo, Lolo Sam and Lola Lyn and the entire family. As such we will try everyday to be a blessing to you. It is my fervent wish that you would grow up knowing, loving and fearing the Lord. It is my hope that you would live a life devoid of hardship and misery, surrounded by people who reciprocate your love, and full of God's blessings you can enjoy and share to others.
Happy Birthday, Anak. We love you.
Love,
Daddy
